Yeah. Not my thing. I’m sure there is a time and place for women to gather and duke out their pregnancy/labor and delivery/mothering horror stories. I try not to participate in such things…and it is what I assume about “mom’s group” of almost every kind. Maybe that’s not fair, maybe it’s wrong. Dunno.
I was invited to go to a mom’s group last week and I went. Didn’t know anyone there – but there was free childcare for my daughter, and to be completely honest, I could use the break and she can use the social time. We show up, I check her in to class, I mosey down the hall. One of the mom’s that I’d met very briefly the prior day was waiting in the hall for me. (Okay, fine. She’s being nice.) We go into the meeting room and join five other women. Introductions, blah, blah. Cup of coffee. Then it starts.
Real-honest-conversation. Struggles. Real ones. Life is happening to these women – and they are sharing about it. The hurt and the frustration with their parents judging how they themselves parent, trying to figure out how to spend meaningful time with their spouses, true concern with appropriately parenting each of their children individually. This shit is WAY better than I expected! These women are being vulnerable with one another – with me, a newcomer! – and it’s total mom conversation, but there is no hint of one-up-ing or competition in the room. Fucking refreshing.
Two and a half hours later, it’s time to get the kiddos and head back into the real world. These ladies said this is their weekly therapy, and judging by the truths they were exposing, I believe them.
they invited me to get together with them that evening to have some wine and chat some more while they completed their planned meal share swap. I went. More realness. More women. And they sent some of their extra food home with me.
Holy freakin’ crap. Who are these people?
(I have amazing friends, many of them mothers. I value the time we have together and the realness we share. But I know them…they are my friends. Not strangers, and none of the relationships are based on whether we’re moms or not.)