A mantra to my kids, regularly, is ‘be kind.’
I honestly believe that if we start with a posture of kindness, everything else will be pretty smooth. Not always, but generally. And when the process isn’t as smooth as we’d prefer, it’s likely related to the individual responding.
Over the last couple of days, I completely cleaned out our storage room, which for the last four years, has contained boxes that have moved with us over and over the last 15 years…and I’ve not gone through. Done. Check. Finished.
Two boxes to Goodwill, two large boxes of recycling, some things paired down and re-stored with better labeling, a couple of great hand-me-downs (read: Frankoma from Granny) washed and ready to be used in the kitchen.
I also combed through piles and piles of old cards and letters, including notes my mom collected from family and friends for my graduation from high school in 1998 – notes from people who have known me since I was a small child through my [at the time] teen years.
This is what I read – I am a kind person. I am a caring person. I am someone who makes people feel at ease. I am a hard worker. I have a comforting smile and eyes.
This is who I am, deep down, when all of the shit experiences of life are stripped away. When all of the crappy jobs and frustrating micro-managing bosses and people who create drama for the sake of drama are taken out of the equation. When all of the stresses of being a mother and wife and sibling and daughter and friend are gone. I am, at the core of who I am and how I operate in and contribute to the world, a kind, gentle, caring listener.
There are changes that need to be made. I need to recalibrate to being this person in daily practice, not just when I can fit it in. I know this, and I believe I can get there. This needs to b a primary forces in my daily routine.