So, so hard

by mereintention

It was so hard to leave my dad’s house today. I feel like I’m cutting off a finger every time I leave. 

I have terrible anxiety and bad work days where I’m extremely distracted before a visit and then I can just barely leave. I sat with the kids in the driveway and had to take several deep breaths before I could start the truck. 

If it’s the last time I see him, I’m okay with that. Honestly. On Friday he’s at 16 months post-surgery. Monday was 16 months since the phone call that changed everything and the day I started mourning. 

I’m tired.