Goodbye March

by mereintention

Two weeks since I was here to the day. Bought a plane ticket at 11a; fight at 820p bumped to 10p; arrived in Oklahoma at 1220a. 

The first walk in and the last walk out of this house is the hardest thing. I have to take a deep breath and just go into Dad’s space. 

Tonight he responded when I said hello. No words but a change of breath and maybe a groan. He moved his left hand up onto his chest. His hand looks different. He gave a single nod in response to a question CJ asked. His minimal urine output of the last twenty four hours is a dark fluorescent orange. He’s on oxygen via a nasal cannula. His feet are still swollen but not as hot as they’ve been the last few weeks. His hands aren’t warm. His earlobes are kind of protruding straight out due to the swelling of his face and neck. 
He hasn’t eaten since Sunday. He’s barely had anything to drink. Today was a full no-intake day. 

Tuesday morning was the last time he took meds…except for an anti-seizure one that now gets absorbed via his bum. No steroids since Tuesday morning for the brain with a tumor growing in it. No more steroids cold turkey. 

There’s only so much a brain can swell in a skull before it ceases to function. 

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