Hysterectomy – night of

Twelve hours ago I was wheeled into the operating room for a hysterectomy. My uterus grew my babies, but otherwise has been a nightmare since I was 13 years old. Endometriosis is horrible. 

In 2003, I had laparoscopic surgery to remove endometriosis adhesions and a dilation and curettage (D&C) of my uterus to remove any fibroids (which were anticipated, but ended up only being one tiny one). Prior to that, at 17, I started taking birth control pills to try and decrease pain and regulate hormone levels. At 21, I began talking the pill continuously in order to maintain a constant hormone level. With the exception of conceiving and having my kids, this is what I’ve been doing since. Sixteen years of a pill every single night.

Life has happened in the midst of all of the pain and tears. I bled and cramped after running, after holding a baby, after intercourse, after being in my feet too long, after sitting too long, after drinking red wine or caffeine. This had been my way of life. A small amount of strain on my body caused bleeding to some degree. 

Twenty six years of menstrating and TWENTY FOUR years of pain…and other nasty uterus related stuff I won’t get into. 

Over these years, I got married, had two babies, lived on both coasts and the upper middle eventually landing here in Colorado within ten years, parents have been ill and had cancers, my dad died, one of my kids is in middle school now, started and stopped church participation, worked jobs that demanded more than I could give, quit said job after much internal turmoil, rested, listened, became an aunt even to kids that aren’t blood, have developed deep friendships, gained 50 lbs since my wedding day, bought three houses…

Today, my uterus was removed. And my Fallopian tubes. And a large, hidden fibroid that had its own blood supply. I have four incisions in my abdomen about an inch long each, my throat hurts from being intubated, I’ve got a catheter and am taking narcotics regularly. I look forward to discussing the surgery details tomorrow morning with my doctor. 

Friends are getting my kids to and from where they need to be. My husband has, and will continue, to just make life happen. He’s the most wonderful partner. I have nothing I need to worry or think about except resting and healing. 

Having this surgery has been so long anticipated. Decades of analyzing the best time to pull the trigger. The anticipation felt like the first few weeks of pregnancy when you know you’re pregnant but nothing is happening to you as far as you can tell, but a life changing event is in the works. Nothing will be the same as it was. Change is happening. 

Permanent life changes for me – having two kids, dad dying, hysterectomy. Life altering to the core of my being and have and will continue to chip away the learned behaviors of life and sculpt myself, ever evolving. 

I am so grateful for a doctor to trust, for health insurance through the corporation my husband works for, nurses who are good at their job and like their job, for the science of robotics blended with surgery. 

Oh! And for a night nurse named David. 💜